During a weekly game at the home for the aged, the bingo caller began choking and then collapsed.
He was rushed to emergency, and went immediately into surgery.
It appeared that 40 years of calling bingo games in smoky halls had finally caught-up with him.
The surgeon successfully removed a mass that was blocking his windpipe.
After waking from the surgery, the caller asked...
My doctor told me I had a Bingo tumor.
He said "Don't worry. It's B-9.".
We played BINGO lastnight inside the shuttle
We all needed O2 to stay in the game
For a change, a genie appeared in front of a woman this time...
A genie appeared in front of a woman.
"Whatever you want, as many things as you want, just ask " the genie said.
"My husband’s eyes should be only on me during all waking hours."
"And then ..?"
"He should not be concerned with anything else in life except me."
"An...
Some Taliban members are playing bingo, but stop when someone yells:
B-52
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Mildred, bingo, and Buzzy the parrot
During the pandemic, Mildred, a widow for twenty years, was worried she had to give up her weekly bingo game down at Saint Mary’s community hall. Fortunately, the church found a way to take the game online using Zoom. (After all, bingo was a nice source of revenue.) Just as important, she had Buzzy,...
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What has 90 balls and fucks old ladies?
Bingo
How do you get a hundred cows into a hall?
Put a Bingo sign front of it.
A man moved into a retirement home...
An elderly man decided it was time to move on. He packed his stuff and moved into a retirement home.
On his first day there, as he was unpacking his stuff into his room, he could help but notice that the woman in the room across the hall was staring at him. He thought it was odd but decided ...
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How do you get an old lady to say “shit?”
Make the one next to her yell “bingo.”
A guy goes to the doctors.
A guy goes to the doctors complaining of feeling generally unwell. The Doctor examines him, then looks at him and says, 'Well, Mr Jones, it looks like you have Yellow 24'. 'What's that? ' asks Mr Jones, and the doctor explains 'Sadly its not a good prognosis. First you start feeling unwell, as you h...
I'm worried that my grandma is starting to lolse her marbles. Yesterday when I went to visit she'd been marking herself all over with her bingo pen.
She's completely dotty.
I just got fired from my job as a bingo caller...
Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is *not* an appropriate way of calling out number 69...
When is bingo harmless?
When its B9!
I like my tumors like I like my bingo numbers...
B9
TIL the agricultural etymology of the word bingo.
There was a farmer who had a dog.
What's the worst part about trying to contact a bingo player?
You have to send them a letter with your number B4 they'll respond.
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We cleared out my grandma's house this morning
We sorted out the good stuff and put it on eBay, and then went to the estate agents to put her house on the market.
She's gonna be pretty pissed off when she gets back from bingo.
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I started my new job as a bingo caller last night
and halfway through calling the numbers I farted loudly.
My boss immediately came over and whispered in my ear, "Don't do that again."
"Sorry," I said, "It must be the nerves."
"Fair enough," he replied, "But there was no need to hold the microphone to your arse."
Old and Pregnant?
A 68 year old woman told her friend over a bingo game that she wanted to have a baby. Her friend, in reasonable disbelief, laughed at her.
The 68 year old woman retorted, "Well, I have the apparatus to and with today's technology, I can have a baby."
And she did just that. She got pr...
What is the name of the elderly man that won three bingos in a row?
Jerry hat-trick ...
A star bingo player goes to the doctor
At one of his bingo tournaments, someone pointed out a dark spot on his neck. The bingo player was worried about this new mole growing on his body, thinking that it could be cancerous.
Bingo player: What do you think of the mole? Should i be worried?
Doctor: B9
Why don't physicists and Bingo players get along?
They disagree on the application and existence of a free space.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Make old ladies cuss.
Q-How do you make 4 old ladies say "fuck" at the same time?
A- you tell the fifth one to scream "bingo".
How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?
B 52
How can you tell that a Bingo player just isn't into you?
When you call their numbers 5 times in a row and they still don't answer.
I found a tumor at Bingo last night.
It's okay. It was B9.
How do you break up an Al-Quaeda bingo game?
Yell "B-52!"
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I saw a lady at the store with a boob just hanging out
When I pointed it out to her, she said "oh nooo I left my baby at bingo again".
My mom loved bingo so much ...
when she got a tumor, it was B-9.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in North Korea?
B-52! B-52!
How do you get nine grandmas to swear?
Make the tenth one shout "bingo!"
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An elderly woman passes, leaving her life-long husband a lonely widower.
As time goes on, his life begins to unravel as he spirals into a pit of despair. This does not go unnoticed by his adult children, who grasp at any opportunity to cheer him up. Finally, one of them convinces him to grudgingly attend an evening game at the local bingo hall, knowing that he'll be in t...
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A millionaire and a guide were out hunting ducks with a dog.
The dog runs into a thicket and back out and barks once. The owner said good there's one duck in there. They go in and sure enough one duck. They get the duck and head to the next thicket.
The dog runs in and back out. This time he barks three times. Good there's three ducks. They go in and b...
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Yellow 24
A man goes to the doctor feeling ill. After checking the man over the doctor looks worried ‘ I don’t know how to break this to you, but you have a terminal disease known as yellow 24. Your blood will turn yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. I suggest you go and spend time with your loved ones...
An old woman goes to the doctor's office...
....The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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Why do Japanese hate bingo?
They all scramble for cover when you call B-29
I was playing bingo with R. Kelly...
Apparently B 13 is his favorite number
A Man Walks into a Gun Store...
The man walks in and looks around until he gets to the Safety Items. He Looks joyfully With a big smile at a Pair of Headphones, Books, then Bingo. He picks up a protective Vest and goes to the counter Happily. The Cashier asks for his ID and asks Him, "Why are you so Happy?", The man responds with,...
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A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Busine...
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This is stupid and funny at the same time
How do you get an 80-year-old woman to yell, "CRAP!"?
You get another 80-year-old woman right next to her to yell, "Bingo!
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THAT's how you do it!
So there's a couple that have been happily married for 30 years, except for one thing: the woman has never had an orgasm. So they visit a marriage counselor.
The counselor listens to their tale of woe, and says to the husband, "Here's what you do. Go to the gym and find a strapping young man....
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A young virgin woman from very religious puritan family walks down the street.
A young virgin woman from very religious puritan family walks down the street. When she passes a taxi stop she overhears one taxi driver saying to other: "Wow, I would love to shag that girl!" She gets home and she asks her mother: "Mom, what does the word SHAG mean?" Her puritan mother gets all red...
You know how you play Iranian bingo?
A-10, B-52, F-22, C-130
ADHD & Sleep Problems. Funny That You Asked!!
I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. Doctor recommended counting sheep...
1 sheep. 2 sheep. 3 sheep. Cow. Duck. Horse. \*Old MacDonald had a farm\* and bingo was his name-o!
I watched the US Presidential Debate last night, but I don't know if it was worth it
If I wanted to watch two old men fighting and screaming at each other, I would have just gone to bingo night at the local nursing home.
Its Before not "be fore"
We're speaking English not Bingo.
First joke I ever learned
An elderly man arrives home from bingo and his wife comes running up to him.
"Thank goodness you're home safe! I was watching the news and apparently a lunatic was driving down the wrong side of the freeway!"
He responds, "*A* Lunatic? There were hundreds of them!"
Abbott & Costello
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 7.8%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%
COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.
ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Righ...
This is my favourite joke I made, I hope no-one else has thought about it
Q. How do you get an old English woman to say "f**k"
A. Get someone else to shout "bingo!"
Some will get it, some will be offended. Most won't get it
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
How do you get a crowd of elderly people to all yell "FUCK!" at the same time?
Be the first to call out bingo.
A bingo caller has a ball fly up at his face...
It goes right up his noise and gets stuck. He goes to the emergency room, the doctor says, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have a tumour". The bingo caller looks shocked and asks, "what's the good news?" The doctor responds, " the tumour is B9".
Screaming ladies !
How do you make hundreds of old ladies scream and moan together?
Have another old lady shout "bingo"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What do a pedophiles hopes and bingo have in common?
B7...B7...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A old man and a young man play golf
The young man sees an old man hug an incredibly attractive 24 year old blonde. The woman leaves in a sport car peeling out of the facility wildly while leaving the old man with his golf gear. The old man walks towards the course smiling and seems to be settling up to start his game. The young man wa...
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A young boy waits downstairs while his date is getting ready
The Dad is there watching TV with the family dog.
The boy farts, the Dad yells at the dog.
The boy farts again, the Dad again yells at the dog.
The third time, Dad yells "Bingo, get way from him before he shits on you"!
I saw a comment that requested more parrot jokes.
A man went into the pet shop to purchase something for his mother's birthday. His mother was alone and he thought it would be a good idea if she had a nice companion with her. He couldn't decide what kind of a pet to get so the shop owner showed him a parrot. He said, "This parrot can speak in 5 dif...
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Priest's Donkey
The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo games didn't work, the spaghetti diners and pancake breakfasts din't work. He even tried raffling an old Ford and that didn't help. So the priest though of trying out horse racing. He went to a horse auct...
A game develper goes to H*ll
A young game developer is killed before his time, and stands before Saint Peter.
"Because you died so young, we cannot properly judge you on your sins and virtues. Therefore, you will be allowed to choose between going to Heaven or Hell."
Before the developer can express his dismay, St. Peter ...
Did you hear that the guy who in invented bingo had a recent health scare?
The tumor ended up being B9.
An old man stopped me on the street to tell me this.
How do you get five sweet, kind, angelic, Christian, old ladies to swear like sailors?
Have a 6th one say "BINGO!"
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FAQs
What are some bingo sayings? ›
- One Little Duck, Me and You, Baby's Done, Kelly's Cousin. ...
- Cup of Tea, Goodness Me, A Flea. ...
- Knock at the Door. ...
- Man Alive, One Little Snake. ...
- Tom Mix, Chopsticks, Spot Below. ...
- Lucky Number Seven. ...
- Garden Gate, Harry Tate, One Fat Lady. ...
- Doctor's Orders.
When all the numbers required to win a prize have been marked off, the player shouts in order to attract the caller's attention. There are no formal rules as to what can be shouted, but most players will shout "yes" or "bingo".
How can I make my bingo more interesting? ›- Play different styles of bingo games. ...
- Use food for the games. ...
- Alter your bingo cards. ...
- Organize a themed party around the bingo game. ...
- Shake things up by using pictures. ...
- Double the Prizes! ...
- Human bingo.
66 – Clickety click. 67 – Stairway to heaven. 68 – Saving Grace. 69 – Favourite of mine. 70 – Three score and ten.
What does 49 mean in bingo? ›| Number | Nickname | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| 46 | Up to tricks | Rhyming with "(forty) six". |
| 47 | Four and seven | Refers to the two numbers that make up 47, that being 4 and 7. |
| 48 | Four dozen | 4 × 12 = 48. Refer to 12 above. |
| 49 | PC | Refers to the BBC Radio series "The Adventures of PC 49". Usual response is "Evening all". |
Bingo is joining the 21st century as "woke millennials" ditch traditional calls such as "two fat ladies - 88" for fear of upsetting anyone. They are said to be tired of the old calls and prefer the more modern "Wills and Kate - 88".
What is a duck in bingo? ›Played around the world, bingo is a social game of chance, and has its own language, known as "bingo lingo." The number 2 is known as "one little duck," since it looks like a duck on water, while number 22 is known as "two little ducks."
Why is number 9 called doctors orders? ›History of Bingo Calls
A number of bingo nicknames have their origins in mid-twentieth century military slang. Number 9, Doctor's Orders, supposedly comes from the slang term for a laxative pill given to troops.
“Kelly's Eye – number 1”
This reference is a little more obscure. It's thought that “Kelly's eye” comes from a comic strip that was popular amongst the soldiers, in which the main character owns a magic amulet that's in the shape of a singular eye.
Why is 44 droopy drawers? ›
44 - Droopy drawers
To find the correlation between this bingo call and 44, you have to look at the digits. Apparently, the two numbers resemble a pair of trousers that have slipped halfway down someone's legs.
| 1. Tom Mix | 6 |
|---|---|
| 3. Winnie the Pooh | 42 |
| 4. Turn on the screw | 62 |
| 5. Danny La Rue | 52 |
| 6. Tweak of the thumb | 51 |
Being a bingo caller is an exciting and important job, and there are several ways of making sure you're the best caller you can be. Call out each letter and number combination clearly and slowly, repeating it several times so that everyone hears. Speak using a loud voice, and be confident as you're calling.
Why is bingo called bingo? ›It was first played at a carnival near Atlanta, Georgia. New York toy salesman Edwin S. Lowe renamed it "bingo" after he overheard someone accidentally yell "bingo" instead of "beano." He hired a Columbia University math professor, Carl Leffler, to help him increase the number of combinations in bingo cards.
What was bingo originally called? ›Bingo has had many names and variations. The earliest name, lotto (or loto), a children's game, was first recorded in 1778. The original American form, called keno, kino, or po-keno, dates from the early 19th century.
What does bingo mean in slang? ›an expression of surprise and, usually, pleasure, for example when something happens successfully: I was just about to borrow some money when bingo!
How do you play bingo with words? ›How to Use Word Bingo Cards - YouTube
Where is bingo most popular? ›The U.K. does, unsurprisingly, still lead the global market. From as long ago as the First World War, bingo has seeped its way into British culture and now around 3.5 million play the game regularly in the country. But it isn't only the U.K. where people like to play bingo.
What is the tagline of bingo? ›Keep calm and play Bingo. Get away from my lucky seat. False Bingo is the cardinal sin. Love thy neighbor–and don't stare at their cards.
What is bingo slang for? ›| BINGO | |
|---|---|
| Definition: | Exactly Right! |
| Type: | Slang Word (Jargon) |
| Guessability: | 2: Quite easy to guess |
| Typical Users: | Adults and Teenagers |
What does 66 mean in bingo? ›
66 – Clickety click. 67 – Stairway to heaven. 68 – Saving Grace. 69 – Favourite of mine. 70 – Three score and ten.
What is Kelly's eye in bingo? ›| Number | Nickname |
|---|---|
| 1 | Kelly's eye |
| 2 | One little duck. |
| 3 | Cup of tea |
| 4 | Knock at the door |
State the letter first, followed by the number, such as "B5!" It's helpful to say a word that starts with the letter for letters that sound similar to other letters, such as B and G. For example, if the call is B10, you might say, "B10, B as in Bingo!"
Which country made Bingo chips? ›ITC Limited is an Indian telecommunications giant and cigarette manufacturer diversifying in the Consumer Packaged Goods market, including the snack foods sector with its brand "Bingo!". Bingo was launched in 2007 and managed to capture an 11% market share of the Indian snack market within 6 months of its launch.
How many Bingo flavours are there? ›Available in 4 exciting flavours.
What is 88 called in bingo? ›Bingo is joining the 21st century as "woke millennials" ditch traditional calls such as "two fat ladies - 88" for fear of upsetting anyone. They are said to be tired of the old calls and prefer the more modern "Wills and Kate - 88".
What bingo numbers are called the most? ›| 1. Tom Mix | 6 |
|---|---|
| 3. Winnie the Pooh | 42 |
| 4. Turn on the screw | 62 |
| 5. Danny La Rue | 52 |
| 6. Tweak of the thumb | 51 |
| Bingo Term | Definition |
|---|---|
| Bingo Card | A piece of paper or board containing a grid of numbers used in playing bingo. |
| Bingo Dauber | A type of ink pen specifically made for bingo players to mark their bingo cards. It is sometimes called dauber, dabber, or dobber. |
History of Bingo Calls
A number of bingo nicknames have their origins in mid-twentieth century military slang. Number 9, Doctor's Orders, supposedly comes from the slang term for a laxative pill given to troops.
When bingo callers shout Here Comes Herbie for 53, they're talking about the famous Walt Disney car, which had 53 displayed on its bonnet, and 49 gets the name P.C because of a wartime radio show about Police Constable Archibald Berkeley-Willoughby – P.C. 49.
Where is bingo most popular? ›
The U.K. does, unsurprisingly, still lead the global market. From as long ago as the First World War, bingo has seeped its way into British culture and now around 3.5 million play the game regularly in the country. But it isn't only the U.K. where people like to play bingo.
What word rhymes with bingo? ›| Word | Rhyme rating | Categories |
|---|---|---|
| flamingo | 100 | Noun |
| dingo | 100 | Noun |
| Ingo | 100 | Name |
| jingo | 100 | Noun |
In the early 1920s, Hugh J. Ward created and standardized the game at carnivals in and around Pittsburgh and the Western Pennsylvania area. He copyrighted it and published a rule book in 1933. The game was further popularized by Edwin Lowe.